The Pain...

The pain was unendurable. It was similar feeling of playing pin ball inside the stomach, only difference was it never stopped. It was in circular motion. It was a feeling of drowning. I was losing my eyesight, maybe I was being unconscious. I had to be awake, or else I and ones inside me would be doomed. Only someone with feminine body could understand agonizing pain of going into labour.

The moment I realised it, I knew I had to to do it all by myself, no one would do it for me because, my pain is oblivious to them. I just had to find a place where I can be undisturbed without any audibility to anyone or someone else noticing me, or else i would be dishonourable to them in this situation. It indeed is a weird world they are not ready to face consequences of things they do in private.

It was getting woozy. But then i saw HIM. He was in a hurry may be he was also looking for me and but failed to notice. After all it was him 'the official mascot' of this situation. I had asked him why he abandoned me with those jerks. It was not favourable time to think about it. I must catch up with him. I knew he would take care of me. I was nearly blind but, I went behind him. It was getting sturdy; I could hear my screams being echoed inside me. No water, No food, the humid climate, besides that bearing a tonnes of load in your womb. I never gave up, I followed where he was heading. It was just a matter of few seconds, I knew he would be at content knowing that I am about to bring new life into this world, I could acknowledge his smell again, he was near me. Just a matter of few seconds he would find me a suitable place to rest. May be I could ask him to get me some milk and some creamy cookies, he knew it was my favourite. Just a matter of few seconds, this dizziness and this tiredness would be gone.

But as I marched ahead, to my shock his door was closed. Now I could barely move my hand, or call out loud, courage inside me had died. How I wished I could reach that door bell, I could hardly make a movement. Now I just waited there for someone to come and open the door. I just waited there for things to change on its own, I was almost blind now. I could feel something at the edge of my uterus. It was happening and it cannot be here. I must find some other place, It was not safe here. Let this moment pass I will again go to him with new born asking him to take care and feed them well. Little i moved ahead I fainted, it was extreme left of his house veranda. It was getting dark now, good omen for me, I could now just lay as I want and without being noticed and let it happen itself, I was left with hardly any power to push, how i wished someone was there just put hand Inside me and take out that thing, I knew it was awful to think in that way. I had trained my inner conscious to be without any hope and expectations, it always kept you happy. But now I could barely even move my eye lids, breathing was heavy, or was it I was not even able to keep up my breathing, i had no idea what was happening, all i could see in front of me was a picture of HIM and ME in those happier days and than it was all DARK...

AWFUL PAIN...

LOUD SCREAM OF MY SOUL...

And then a HUGE VACUUM...

TOTAL SILENCE...

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It was not the end. I was alive. I could feel my breathe, movement of my legs shaking with weakness, the smell of my own blood with filthy excreta.  I never noticed I was on a soft mattress and covered up with cloth, area around me was kept wet. It was starting to smell good. First complete vision I saw was of 'HIM' holding them in his hands. Aww!!! how cute they looked with him. They still were afraid to open their eyes in this mean world. Now I had to keep up with monstrous task of licking and keeping their genitalia wet so they can continue with their peaceful sleep. Yes, I was right at first. They were six of them two black, three brownish, and one was white and greyish. He came close and moved soft skin of his tough hands over my head. He knew what I had gone through. I never understood what they call me but, I only knew that word was something 'abusive' in their language. But I hardly cared as I was with HIM.