The Eternal Friendship

" You should go and request him, I am sure he will help us, after all he is your childhood friend, you both learned under the same guru" she said in a low voice concealing her face with torn saffron veil.

"He will not be familiar with me as he used to be, all these years i never even came across him, and now asking him a favour, how appalling is that, and besides how can I meet a king without any endowment, why would he even bother to meet indigent Brahmin like me." He lowered his face in hopelessness.

" They call him dwarkadish, the ultimate king, the most righteous of all, I have heard how people in his kingdom are full of life and health, I am sure he will have a little pity on us" her voice sensed a little hope.

She went outside for a while and came back with a handful of rice which were as little as dust of flowers, she cooked that on slow flame and wrapped it in a tiny dirty cloth as gift for king and handed it to her husband.

He embarked out on a strenuous journey to the kingdom of dwarka, the couple had nothing left with them, except broken house with shabby interiors, ragged clothes, even the rice which she gave him was borrowed from neighbour, hunger accompanied many of their sleepless nights.

She was a pious wife she never complained about the condition of the house, clothes, nor she had any lust for ornaments, her body was satisfied with what she wore, her hunger was satisfied with what she ate, her mind refused to complain. This was first time she asked something from him, so how could he refuse, this strong reason was what geared up his journey.

His thoughts were occupied thinking about his friend who was now a king. On his way he kept recounting incidents of their bonding in adolescent age, how they played together, learned new things, how their guru loved both of them equally and he remembered one such incident where he cheated his beloved friend.

They were on their way back to gurukul coming from their guru's home, guru's wife had given him  fried chana as a snack for the journey and asked him to share equally, they both had  to stop under a tree as the rains became ugly, he started to eat alone.

' what sound is that you are making sudama, are you eating something? Please share with me i am feeling very Hungry...' His friend requested.

' No no kanha  these winds are very cold and making my teeth crackle" he lied through his teeth

He always knew deep inside that to satisfy his lust for hunger he spoke untruth to his friend who had always loved him more than he loved himself.

Soon his senses brought him to the mighty kingdom of dwarka, the city had a sight to behold, it was off shore and yet connected to mainland, as if ocean purposely had created space for this city, every house was nicely decorated, streets were as smooth as silk, cool breeze from seaside along with little sunlight made every soul cheerful, all he could see was smiling faces everywhere, soon he stopped outside the mammoth gates of palace where the king lived.

" Who are you?  never seen you here, whom you want to meet?" Gatekeepers asked in a suspicious tone.

" I am sudama, childhood friend of kanha, I came here to meet him" his voice barely reaching to height of their ears.

" Hahaha, you think you can fool us, we are here since years, we know every friend of king, why would our great king ever befriend such a tentative personality" they joked sarcastically.

" Please just inform him once, if he doesn't agree I will go away now itself."

" Ok just wait here."

One of them entered the royal hall where all ministers and kings were seated and informed them...

" your highness a very timid and weak Brahmin is waiting outside, his name is sudama he says......"

" SUDAMA...IS IT TRUE..." king literally screaming, Interrupted the gatekeeper, jumped up from his chair and started running towards the gate.

All the ministers stood up in bewilderment, they saw their king running with only one footwear, he never bothered about it. He forgot who he was, he pushed the guard and opened gate himself and hugged sudama, crying inconsolably, no one could stop those tears, they were finally released after so many years, sudama was shocked with such gesture, so was everyone in the royal palace.

" Oh my dear friend sudama, where have you been all these years, I worried about you every second of my life, you became so selfish that you forgot me, you never cared about our friendship?"

Sudama was speechless all he could see with his moist eyes was beautiful face of his friend who was wiping off tears from his face.

" Come with me my friend, I am honoured that I have a Brahmin at my palace, come with me, my dearest."

He kept his hand on those tiny shoulders and they walked the long way to the royal hall, astonishing everyone one as none of them had seen their king like this, he offered sudama the royal chair of king to seat.

" Rukimi, look sudama his here, make the preparations for his meal" he ordered his queen

" Tell me o sudama will you have meal with me, will you give me privilege to share my food with you, O sudama you have become so weak, look at your feet they are so rough and hard, you travelled so much, you felt so much pain just to meet me" king was weeping inconsolably, tears were plunging from his eyes on to sudama's feet, he cleaned that with his silk gown.

Sudama was still in disbelief about this royal treatment and gesture, he still hadn't uttered word, the king noticed something hidden and tied near his waist and he asked " What is it sudama have you brought something for me, why are you hiding it?" He asked with curiosity.

As sudama shrugged out of embracement the tiny dirty cloth in which not even a handful of cooked rice were wrapped was visible, and it looked more messy because of travelling.

" Is this for me?" He said and moved his hand and picked up one grain of rice and started chewing it. Every person including sudama was in disbelief and shock.

"This is one of the best rice I ever had, I always missed this taste in this royal palace" he finished it one by one. Everyone was still in qualm with the behaviour of their king, but everyone started respecting sudama as much as the king' because by now they had also sensed he was not a ordinary person.

He was given royal meal, silk cloths to wear, ornaments, soft bed to rest, they walked across the royal garden and talked about their childhood memories, king showed his city in his royal chariot, but sudama couldn't speak about what he had came for as he felt ashamed to ask for something more after he had received so much, he slept peacefully at night and started his journey back home next morning. King had offered him chariots and horses for journey but he refused as he felt they would see his poor house and would inform the king about it, bringing him more embracement.

He walked the long distance and kept on thinking the reasons he would state to his wife, he would not lie about king nor could he tell about his lost courage to ask favour from king. As he reached home in evening he saw  one house from far distance which was hugely decorated and was glooming with lamps, smell of delicious food being cooked played with his nostrils, he wondered who was getting married in the village, as he went ahead he was shocked to see it was the same house he lived in, his wife came marching towards him in excitement.

" Look what has your friend sent us, so many bags of rice, pulses, clothes, just touch this gown how smooth it is, this is enormous. Why you asked them so much, what will we do of so much food, should I distribute it among villagers?"

Sudama was frozen where he was, words refused to come out, he just nodded his head. Just for a handful of rice he was awarded so much, his soul smiled knowing the eternal friendship he shared with the supreme knower of all, the king of dwarka, his childhood friend 'Kanha'

Never Before... Never Again...

The moon was at its fullest, it's light was ripping through every window like arrows, ripples on Yamuna river made an illusion of flower bed of diamonds, the splash of the tides, brushing of leaves, chattering of little bugs, the smell of mud gave the environment a distinctive feeling. It catered to needs of brijwasi's tired souls. Not everyone approved tiredness tough.

She was busy milking the cow, while calf was asleep. She had to prepare kheer early morning, her hands had the brain of their own, synchronizing with apt motions, her eyes were gazed on the ground, but it was not what she was mentally looking at.

Few blocks aside from that house, milk had reached its boiling point and was spilling over, someone had failed in her task of keeping an eye on the milk and removing the vessel from flame at right moment, even after being present parallel to it.

Right to the next door, there was a cry of toddler, as food was being fed into his nose by his mother, while she herself was psychologically ignorant of her own actions, her thoughts were too busy.

Beyond the doors of its opposite house, her husband was in deep slumber, but she still continued massaging his feet without realizing it.

And to the little ahead of that house, utensils were dropped fourth time as she was barely able to maintain her balance on two legs, she was eagerly marching entire veranda of the house.

All these collective ladies in brij were known as Gopis. Not a single GOPI that night were in their senses.

One thing common between all the Gopis was that, they shared same reason for their unconsciously weird behaviour.

They were all waiting for that melodious tune which would act as a signal, the tune which would make them wide awake from their lifeless state, the tune which would end their long wait, the tune audible only to them, they knew they could hear that anytime.

And it was heard.

It was the melody which came from the most blessed flute in the universe, the flute which felt the touch of his soft fingers, the flute which tasted nectar of those alluring lips, the flute which was most near to that guiltless smile, the tune was so harmonious that even wicked mind would ascend to pious state . They froze for a while, allowing their ears to get immersed in the tone, allowing their eyes to sprinkle the excitement which was crammed up as curiosity, and than they all started running.

They forgot what role they were assigned to, they forgot they were wives, daughters, mothers. Their feet moved to the direction of the sound, dodging every relation of the materialistic world, the notes of the melody were  soaring faster  as if keeping up pace with their feet, only they knew where the sound came from. They were hypnotised to the melody, and they reached where they were destined to, on the banks of river Yamuna.

He was standing there with legs crossed, flute adjusted to his lips, breeze playing with the peacock feather on his head, shadow of moon light carved out the perfect masculine yet tender shape of his body. As he came close his dark skinned baby shaped face with mysteriously vicious smile was visible to them, hearts refused to beat, it was a sight to behold.

" you all are not supposed be here, its dark and your family members might be worried" he said that with mischievous smile

Lumps in their throats, they all looked at each other with bewilderment, consciously they gathered their words and spoke one after another

" O madhava what type of game you are playing with us, why are you doing this with us? Showing water to a thirsty person and then purposely wasting it, first you had promised us to be here and when we have came leaving aside every relation, crossing all boundaries, and you are telling us not to be here..."

" O devki nandan, if you not wanted us to be here why you played that tune and lured us here, and now when we have seen your face, you are telling us to go away"

" O keshava, when you come back after grazing your cows on hills, we wait for you at our doorsteps to get a sight of you and we clean even the tiniest of stones and pebbles from your way so that it doesn't hurt your tender lotus feet, and you  have bothered to call us at this time and than ultimately telling us to go away"

He spoke again testing their patience " but you are young girls, your parents must be worried, what suffering your husbands will go when they realize you are not at home, your children will be afraid when they wont feel touch of their mother near them, I request you all to please go..."

" we wake up at 4am, keep fast, in chilling dawn we go to Yamuna to take bath, hardly a drop of water slides from our throats for entire day, we do all of this so that you remain near to our hearts, if our relations, our parents, children, husbands come in way to reach you, we are happy to leave them for you. "

" so be it " he said and opened his arms

And then began the greatest dance the universe had ever staged for the nectar of love, it was dance which has remained unexplained, dance to which even greatest of all sages are oblivious, a dance for which souls have passed cycles and cycles of births and deaths but are still deprived, a dance which lies beyond the limitations of human consciousness, and while they danced they witnessed an unusual sight of themselves being present with their husbands, children, parents even when they were not there. It were the souls which were at the banks of the Yamuna, while they had left their physical body at home.

Gopis were neither scholars in Vedas, nor where they interested. They never learned Upanishads, yoga, cycle of karma. They unknowingly chose a path known as 'bhakti yoga' every ritual, every sacrifice of them was dedicated to the almighty, they loved him to the core, it was only him which they desired, and that is why they were awarded with something which made  even the demigods underprivileged. They were awarded with the greatness of  'Raas leela'

The Pain...

The pain was unendurable. It was similar feeling of playing pin ball inside the stomach, only difference was it never stopped. It was in circular motion. It was a feeling of drowning. I was losing my eyesight, maybe I was being unconscious. I had to be awake, or else I and ones inside me would be doomed. Only someone with feminine body could understand agonizing pain of going into labour.

The moment I realised it, I knew I had to to do it all by myself, no one would do it for me because, my pain is oblivious to them. I just had to find a place where I can be undisturbed without any audibility to anyone or someone else noticing me, or else i would be dishonourable to them in this situation. It indeed is a weird world they are not ready to face consequences of things they do in private.

It was getting woozy. But then i saw HIM. He was in a hurry may be he was also looking for me and but failed to notice. After all it was him 'the official mascot' of this situation. I had asked him why he abandoned me with those jerks. It was not favourable time to think about it. I must catch up with him. I knew he would take care of me. I was nearly blind but, I went behind him. It was getting sturdy; I could hear my screams being echoed inside me. No water, No food, the humid climate, besides that bearing a tonnes of load in your womb. I never gave up, I followed where he was heading. It was just a matter of few seconds, I knew he would be at content knowing that I am about to bring new life into this world, I could acknowledge his smell again, he was near me. Just a matter of few seconds he would find me a suitable place to rest. May be I could ask him to get me some milk and some creamy cookies, he knew it was my favourite. Just a matter of few seconds, this dizziness and this tiredness would be gone.

But as I marched ahead, to my shock his door was closed. Now I could barely move my hand, or call out loud, courage inside me had died. How I wished I could reach that door bell, I could hardly make a movement. Now I just waited there for someone to come and open the door. I just waited there for things to change on its own, I was almost blind now. I could feel something at the edge of my uterus. It was happening and it cannot be here. I must find some other place, It was not safe here. Let this moment pass I will again go to him with new born asking him to take care and feed them well. Little i moved ahead I fainted, it was extreme left of his house veranda. It was getting dark now, good omen for me, I could now just lay as I want and without being noticed and let it happen itself, I was left with hardly any power to push, how i wished someone was there just put hand Inside me and take out that thing, I knew it was awful to think in that way. I had trained my inner conscious to be without any hope and expectations, it always kept you happy. But now I could barely even move my eye lids, breathing was heavy, or was it I was not even able to keep up my breathing, i had no idea what was happening, all i could see in front of me was a picture of HIM and ME in those happier days and than it was all DARK...

AWFUL PAIN...

LOUD SCREAM OF MY SOUL...

And then a HUGE VACUUM...

TOTAL SILENCE...

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It was not the end. I was alive. I could feel my breathe, movement of my legs shaking with weakness, the smell of my own blood with filthy excreta.  I never noticed I was on a soft mattress and covered up with cloth, area around me was kept wet. It was starting to smell good. First complete vision I saw was of 'HIM' holding them in his hands. Aww!!! how cute they looked with him. They still were afraid to open their eyes in this mean world. Now I had to keep up with monstrous task of licking and keeping their genitalia wet so they can continue with their peaceful sleep. Yes, I was right at first. They were six of them two black, three brownish, and one was white and greyish. He came close and moved soft skin of his tough hands over my head. He knew what I had gone through. I never understood what they call me but, I only knew that word was something 'abusive' in their language. But I hardly cared as I was with HIM.

A Conversation...

A cool breeze flew from parallel direction of marine lines railway station, as 3.11 pm borivali bound slow local passed by they could hear the snaps of hangers from inside  of empty compartments which were wavering as a metaphor  for ‘ now we are free’

“You had your brunch”, he asked an overhaul in his speech

“Yes… but as you know scarcely my throat swigs anything while you are on your navratra, my foot bothers me when I see you without any shoes for 9 days”

“Hmm… you sense my pain …so now you apprehend what sort of grieving my heart goes when your rozas are going on…”

They both looked at each other. Eyes met. Smile hooked upon their face. Both sat looking at sea surface how the sunlight created an illusion of golden ripples.

“Do you recognize how generous nature is, the sunlight is blistering, but still we can feel a cold wave…”

“Nature… isn’t that what we are fighting against…”

“Oh two of you after so many days… I was wondering yesterday why don’t  I see much of you more often” came an intervallic voice of shambu kaka who ran a small bhel shop bordering railway canteen.

“Here… one spicy, and other without any chilly just as you always have”

“But we didn’t ask you… its ok… in any case…” before he could complete,

“As if you had asked me when you had first time” said kaka spitting pan in dustbin and moping his moustache and lips.

They both shared laugh and kept behl packet in bag, assuring him they will eat after teatime.

“I always wonder how four years have passed, since we met on this same platform”

“Yes you were unpunctual and I was the one who guided you to go churchgate and catch a fast train”

“Still I don’t understand this timetable of Mumbai trains, there are so many empty trains running ON TIME during noon, but at peak hours there is always a delay…and that crowd…”

“You should thank those who create chaos while boarding, because at that time i have an opportunity to be more close to you and feel that aroma” he said with a mischievous smile.

They both blushed rejoicing old moments.

“I usually dua, the time freezes, inshallah, allahtala would make time travel possible, so we could date back at those happier times when all we had was love and care about each other”

“older we get we realize how immense our world is, even a shared love between two souls needs an approval from society, religion, family…and irony dies a hundred times when these are the same people taught us what love is”

“When I will meet khuda I will ask him what was his intention when he gave you a corner in my heart but not in my life”

“Enough of this discussion… why can’t we just book two seats and abdicate this place which is equipped to eat us alive…”

“Impractical!!! Ammijan is on bed rest and that mental torture amidst it, when she comes to know about what I have prepared her for, and what answer will you give to your dad who is so hopeful about your career, and your sister who always encourages your niece to be like you…”

He sat there listening and digesting every word he heard.

“Don’t worry you know how emotional I get when I am with you...” he summed up the thoughts

“I guess I should leave now, I also have to purchase insulin injections for ammijan…khudahafiz… ”

He was deserted with thought, Fifteen minutes passed by he was still there, lost in happier memoir. He got up was about to take a first step for railway over bridge, he heard a familiar voice of kaka

“Here I think you friends dropped it, it was reflecting light due to its shine, is this how ATM card is?”

“No kaka this is company security card where he works, just like identity card”

He read HIS identity card laminated was passport photo in crisp shirt, and that neatly trimmed beard, camouflaged with that innocent smile which was enough to make him fall in love all over again.

“He cares so much about others when it comes to him, HE IS SO CARELESS”

 

Small Note Dedicated to my Sister...

The hair which had just received a lavish spa were flaunting; a metaphor of her boldness. 

Pitch black sunglasses were protecting her eye contact from UV rays and unwanted elements. She was in her favourite red top, which complemented with her semi washed denim, high heels and shoulder bag completed her viciously seductive look.

Yet hidden from the material world she was carrying a golden heart which cared for her father, which was worried about her isolated mother and grades of her brother, which melted with the sight of loved ones, which was tired of maintaining the proportions between what she gave and what she received. 

Yet she was smiling, positively dodging every negative thought, she was trying to be at PEACE!!